Being home sick is amongst one of the hardest sickness to get past. Once it sets in, its always lingering and can be so easily triggered. A rainy day, missing a train, loosing a trinket that you keep in your purse that your best friends boyfriends sister gave you, telling you it would cheer you up if you got down on your wild adventure, but that'll never happen you wont have time for that, of course.
During the quiet times you start to miss having your friends around. Being able to call them up at anytime for a chat about how you made eyes at some guy, or how you tripped and fell, spilling the contents of your bag all over the ground which included your travel vibrator that turned onto full speed from the impact of the fall, to an onlooking crowd on the street, who was unable to help you because of the shear embarrassment they had for you.
But when your home you take it all for granted. You don't think twice about the ease of life. Sometimes you even tire of it, you feel cramped, board and just want to be away from it all. I guess thats one of the good sides of being home sick. You really start to appreciate what you have. Realizing how lucky you are to have it so easy and so many people loving you back home.
You miss knowing exactly which take away is the best and the safest in town to fill your tummy with. You get tired of spending hours each day trying to figure out how to get to each of your desired destinations. You get tired of explaining to every person you meet where your from. And 'yes' Canberra is the capital of Australia and its 3 hrs west of Sydney, and no i have never met or hard of your cousins friend who is a dancer in some dance company in Melbourne.
You get tired of saying this wouldn't happen in my country, or in my country we do it like this.
The problem is you know your going to miss it all when you leave, and home is going to be exactly the same when you get back, except that your ex-boyfriend might have a new girlfriend now, some of your friends may have lost or gained weight, and the grass is a lot more greener from all the extra rain.
So you need to try to stop listening to the Best of Midnight Oil on repeat and depressing your self future. Stop scanning the condiment isle in the supermarket for Vegemite. Stop telling yourself you wish things where the same as back home. Stop wasting time thinking about how lonely you are and stop missing your friends. Because its all still there just not here.
Your in the other fucking side of the world and millions would give anything for the experience your having. Get out there and laugh at their funny accents, eat the didgy food and embrace the differences. Because home is always going to be there but your trip will end and you will regret all the time you are wasting.
1 comment:
It is so easy to get into that rut.
I remember living in Honiara and getting all sad. Couldn't speak the language, my job was shite, all the Australian's were annoying...
Then I heard laughter from outside. All the kids from the house downstairs were hanging out in the garden. I had two choices - to stay in my room feeling sorry for myself, or go downstairs and try to communicate. I picked myself up and never looked back.
I hope you are ok Ed, and that you can push yourself through. I know that being in Austin is probably one of the best things you can do for your life and career. I almost expect you to never come home.
When you do, there is a red couch with your name on it.
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